In other news: 3 weeks till I’m done with student teaching, and in one month I will officially be a graduate of K-State. Yippee.

The only thing about this one is it doesn’t seem to be counting the calories burned during strength training. It added up all the cardio I did (I’ve been doing The Hollywood Trainer 21 day Total Body Circuit Workout or something similar to that), but didn’t show anything for my strength training, which is really the majority of the workout. Anyway.

I’ve lost about 5 pounds since being home. I’m not sure if it’s because I have a very regular schedule now, or because I’m doing a lot more standing and walking during the day (teaching), or because of my 2 day stint on the Sonoma Diet, or my working out, or attempts to eat healthy. Probably a combination of all of the above. Either way, I hope it keeps up

I also bought The Hollywood Trainer Weight-Loss Plan book which gives you what workout to do on what days and what to eat every day for 21 days. Pretty similar to the Sonoma Diet, except that didn’t include any exercises. Anyway, there’s a lot of good info in it, and the recipes look quite a bit simpler than The Sonoma Diet and include a lot more things I actually like. And bonus: dessert is included every night. I would really love to attempt to do the program as it is intended, but I can’t do it alone – I don’t have the time to prepare 3 meals and 3 snacks every day on my own. I could do it if I had help, but the support around me is flaky at best and completely absent at worst. I think I’ll have to wait until I move out to do it. It’s too bad, because it really looks doable with some level of support.

Maybe I’ll do the workouts as described and try and use some of the recipes here and there as I can. This would be so much easier if I were buying my own groceries (and/or capable of buying groceries – damn required internship). Whatever. I’ll update if anything comes of this idea.

Like your thoughts or actions are so interesting or profound that people give you book deals or fly you to places to interview you and give you free stuff? Wouldn’t that be awesome?

I would love to be the next Julie Powell or girl at www.kansascouture.com but I’m not interesting enough and I don’t have a shtick. I just say whatever is on my mind.

But man I would love to get some high-priced fashion for free just because I have a blog. Or really for anyone to read it aside from my adoring boyfriend who, I believe, may be my sole reader. Which is fine. But it would be great if I didn’t have to worry about having a secure job, and just get famous for being an amateur writer.

If this thing is actually right, then I shouldn’t be needing to lose weight. Today is actually a bad day in terms of what I’ve eaten and I’ve still burned more calories than I’ve taken in. With that kind of deficit every day, I should be underweight, not 20 pounds over my ideal.

Maybe I’m not putting things in right. I don’t know. Your only options are like, pre-made brand foods/meals and I eat a lot of homemade stuff, so maybe the calories aren’t quite right. I’ve just been using my best judgment.

Yesterday I supposedly only consumed 1,235 calories and burned like 1,800. If that were true, I wouldn’t have had such a hard time on the Sonoma Diet, because yesterday was a typical day for me. Well, that’s not true, I worked out yesterday which I haven’t done in weeks. But still. 1,200 calories? Doubt it.

I thought this thing would whip me into nutritional shape, but all I’m getting out of it is I’m not eating enough, but I always feel like I’m eating more than I really need to.

I don’t know how well this is going to work.

Well I’m going to try something else. All I’m going to do is count calories. If you go to www.caloriecount.com you can type in what you’ve eaten and it will give you about how many calories you’ve consumed, and you can add in how much physical activity you’ve done to see if you’re on the right track to losing weight. So we’ll see if being more aware of what I’m eating helps.

I also bought a book about losing weight by Jeanette Jenkins because I use her Hollywood Trainer workouts and she seems knowledgeable. And because it was $0.01 (plus $3.99 s&h haha).

So we’ll see if the combination of the 2 get me on track. Some days I like my body, but I know I could like it every day if I actually tried to improve it.

Luckily, I’m quite adept at rolling with the punches, and rather than saying the info for the students, I threw it into a PowerPoint presentation and made them read it out loud. HA. Take that, lack of voice.

Here’s the funny thing. My boyfriend has been kissing me, knowing that I’m sick, for the last 5 days, but he won’t drink after me. Seriously? He’s so silly. He says it’s because he was taught not to drink after sick people. That’s a good rule, but I don’t think it applies when you’ve just swapped spit with the sick person.

I’ve spent the last 4 years on my degree, thinking I would easily find a job teaching high school English. But no. The economy is so screwed up that districts can’t afford to hire teachers, even if they have vacant positions. In order for me to get a job teaching anything I have to apply for an “essential” position, such as ESOL or Special Ed, because those are commonly understaffed but necessary teaching jobs.

So I have a choice to make: I can take a few classes then take the Praxis to get an endorsement in ESOL to teach “newcomers,” or I can get a masters in Adaptive Special Education and teach reading intervention and adapted English classes for students with mild disabilities.

Both are a far stretch from teaching literature, which is what I had in mind. In both cases the curriculum is provided, so I would have no lesson planning to do. On the one hand, that does eliminate some stress, but on the other hand I lose all creative freedom, which I really enjoy. I like being able to create fun lessons to teach kids something. In both jobs, I won’t have that.

It helps to think that these jobs will be temporary, but they’re not that temporary. We’re talking a few years’ commitment just to take the classes necessary, and then I have to pay back the district (who would pay for the classes) by staying in either ESOL or Special Ed for a determined amount of years. YEARS. In a job I’m not really excited about. In a job that doesn’t use my skill set. In a job with no creative freedom.

Can I just abstain and marry rich so I never have to deal with this? This is really not what I had in mind for myself in any way, shape, or form.

The worst part is I have to make a decision of which route to take, ESOL or special ed, SOON. Like, really soon. I have to make a decision that will affect the next several years of my life with little knowledge of what either decision will really mean for me.

I hate this.

Anyway, I lost 3  pounds in the first 2 days. It’s been a week and a half and I’ve lost or 5 total. Not too bad methinks.

I was so tired yesterday that I took a nap AND went to bed early. I told Garrick that if every day is like this, as in if it doesn’t get better, I have to give it up. I can’t not have the energy to teach.

This morning I woke up and hardly had the energy to get dressed. I decided I can’t be as hungry as I was yesterday, so I cheated an ate Raisin Bran for breakfast. The bran is allowed, the raisins are not for the next 9 days. I just don’t think a few raisins in my breakfast is going to bring on a huge wave of sugar cravings. So far, that’s true. And I feel better than if I had eaten my block of shredded wheat.

Today’s food: chicken and black bean wrap and spinach salad for lunch, and for dinner: mediterranean pork chops, with some kind of vegetable (I forget what) and couscous. Sounds much better than last night’s dinner.

We’ll see how the next couple of days go. Hopefully I can keep it up without cheating much.